Email thread: Loser Wars
OK, so this was a small email thread(4 people) in regards to some bar crawl shirts for Tom's bar crawl tonight. It started to get interesting when Jaleel White found out the shirt color:
“Alright, I was just trying to answer Krzysiak's inquiry. Orange? Next to yellow that's the next gayest color at Abercrombie and Fitch (I'm just sayin). “
dot matrix:
"HOLD UP!
I am a big fan of orange Chrills. I take great exception to your anti-orange. A real man can wear a bright orange shirt and get away with it."
Jaleel White:
“Bright colors irritate me -- I'm a Sith. “
{it's been brought it)
dot matrix:
“Then I will wear bright colors every time I see you to defeat the dark-side.”
Jaleel White:
“I scoff at your Jedi abilities. ”
dot matrix:
"Remember, Vader throws you off the balcony of the 729th floor of the incomplete, but fully functional Death Star. So I scoff at your abilities to lead the dark side to new heights! "
Jaleel White:
“...Which only proves my point more: a mere Jedi like pansy Skywalker couldn't destroy the Emperor himself -- Vader (a fellow Sith for the past 25 years) had to finish him (as the emperor's back was turned, mind you), hurling him from the 729th floor of the incomplete, yet fully functional Death Star. “
dot matrix:
“Which proves my point even MORE! In the end, which force was stronger in Vader? He was a Jedi at heart and the dark side was only a temporary phase. He went back to his roots and became a Jedi once again. If Luke would have trained for even another few years, he would have mauled the Emperor. He was only made a full Jedi like a week before he fought the old man. “
(at this point I consult a star wars nut I know about this argument)
Me:
“from the godfather, the biggest star wars freak i know:
'he gave into the dark - but deep down he was a good jedi -- he just got fucked up by a dumb bitch - like the best of us'
”
dot matrix:
“TME:
1 – Murph is the biggest Star Wars freak we all know.
2 – Do you have to drop F bombs on people’s work emails? I mean we aren’t all network administrators like you and are monitored one way on the other.
3 – You are right about Vader. PAD-MAY messed with his head in his youth, set him off the deep end.
”
Jaleel White:
“Dude, Jedis are weak. It took two Jedis to kill Maul. It took two Jedis to fight Dooku (seriously, Dooku), and he still kicked their ass until he died in "Sith" (which, again, took two Jedis). Yoda got his ass kicked by the Emperor, then hid like from him like a little girl for the next 25 years. I mean, the only way the Jedi won in the end was via a conscience crisis by someone who'd been a Sith longer than he'd been a Jedi. That's not power; that's luck. ”
(lando c chimes in now)
lando c:
“Maybe if the Siths crew rolled deeper they wouldn’t constantly be running into 2 on 1 situations. You can’t fault the Jedi’s for running a crew on punk siths just because they were flying solo.
Bottom line – it doesn’t pay to sith.
”
(John McClain instigates)
John McClain:
“OHHHHHHHHHH SNAPPPPPPPPPPPP ”
dot matrix:
“Jedi is a way of life. The dark side is a little phase the weak go through and eventually die. You’ll see the light one day Sith Lord Jaleel White. But perhaps, it may be too late for you……
ALSO…..
The Jedi’s would have won either way. That Death Star was going down whether or not Vader killed the emperor or not. My boy Lando and Wedge would have taken out the core regardless and the emperor and Vader still would have died. Only difference is Luke would have died too and Vader would have never seen the light. You think I named my son Luke as a coincidence? He’s a Jedi like his father was before him……
”
Jaleel White:
“If you were a Sith, you'd know the Rule of the Sith: there may only be 2 (total, a master and an apprentice). Siths don't start a whole army like Jedis because they're badass. Jedis are a joke. They need a whole army just to compete with the Sith. Yet, it is Maul that hunts the Jedi. He's willing to take them on by himself -- that's what being a Sith is all about. “
Jaleel White:
“But if the Emperor lived he would've escaped with Vader and would've constructed another mechanical terror to opress the galaxy. You don't need to make up excuses just because you know you are no match for the power of the dark side. ”
dot matrix:
“Jedi’s rule, Siths drool! Oooohhhhh……
I am done with this battle. My email stopped working yesterday for some reason. I think Mike is casting Sith spells on me.
”
Jaleel White:
“Admit that I have slayed you and I will grant your pardon. ”